Over the Christmas holiday this year I took a stay-cation and wow did I ever need and love it. I slept in past 8(!!!), went to bed at midnight and filled many of my days with as little as possible and whatever I felt like doing. I spent a few days with family & friends – but the rest of it was open.
I came across a quote I loved for all of you who are seasoned at doing the inner work and I found a helpful podcast about parenting. Are they the most logical combination for a post – I don’t know. I spent too much time trying to synthesize them into a neat and tidy bow with lacklustre results😂.
For Those Who’ve Done the Inner Work
I was reflecting on all of those I’ve worked with who have DONE the inner work.
Counselling can be challenging and rewarding at the same time. If you’ve done a lot of therapy in a world surrounded by those not doing any inner work, it can feel very freeing but also lonely and sometimes angering, “Why isn’t anyone else doing any work on themselves!” It can feel like another burden to carry.
This quote from Rainer Maria Rilke is to honour you and your commitment to your inner work:
“You suffer, you say, because the people closest to you are distant: this shows that your world is beginning to grow vast…You should be happy about your growth. You can’t bring anyone along with you anyway” Letters to a Young Poet p26.
Rilke goes on on to encourage not fixing things, not creating drama, and not asking them for any advice. There is a radical acceptance of those around you and encouragement to find some common ground (if possible). This brings space to feel peace, freedom, love, connection & the vastness of your Self in this world.
Podcast on Parenting
I recently came across a podcast that can speak to newbies to counselling and to those of you who are seasoned.
If you’re a parent (of young children or adult children), one of the biggest gifts you can give your children is to do your inner work. I recently listened to an interview with Dr. Becky Kennedy and I really liked her. She encourages self-reflection AND gives practical tools.
One of my favourite tools was when she asked parents to reflect, “What is my job in this situation with my child?” She is down-to-earth and relatable and doesn’t pretend to do it all right. She names how every child will have different needs, but that if you have a strong foundation, you can absolutely pivot to meet what your child brings to you.
If you’ve got a young or adult child (or parent) who tends to lash out, she offers insight and steps forward too.
To be honest, even if you’re not a parent, the tools she offers are relevant to many relationships. Think of the last tough situation you were in with someone and reflect, “What was my job in that situation?”