Spirituality

My Crush On Physics

September 15, 2022 by Juanita Lepage Leave a Comment

When I was in high school, I loved physics. I was at the exciting point in time where physicists were discovering that light was both a particle and wave. It was also when Stephen Hawking published A Brief History of Time and the concept of black holes wowed me.

Unfortunately, as much as I liked physics, I never did very well in those classes. My brain could never really understand it in the way I wanted to no matter how I tried.

When I went to the Barbara Brennan School of Healing, part of their marketing was to highlight that Barbara Brennan was a Nasa physicist. And yes, I was impressed and curious how this woman bridged her scientific background into become a master energy healer and teacher.

Over time many people have tried to bridge this gap with books and teachings – Bruce Lipton, Lynne McTaggart, and Dean Radin were some of the first authors I came across. And again, I would read their books and understand parts of it – but I would reach a point in the book were it got pretty fuzzy.

My husband studied physics in university and he recently recommended a podcast about quantum physics. Once again, I eagerly listened to it, and you know what – I didn’t understand all of it, but I did understand parts of it. And as fuzzy as it is in my brain, I still find it all quite exciting.

The podcast was Tim Ferriss interviewing Donald Hoffman – The Case Against Reality, Beyond SpaceTime, Rethinking Death, Panpsychism, QBism and More.

I mean – the Case against Reality? beyond SpaceTime? Rethinking Death? – All things I’m interested in. The long-story-short that I got from this episode is that the Newtonian model of physics is limited. Our material world and it’s laws are only one part of our reality. In terms of light being both a particle and a wave – the same can be said for everything including ourselves.

If you’ve ever had an energy healing, had connection to the spirit world, or had weird things happen in your life that defy material-based logic, this will be of no surprise to you. Most people I meet have at least one mysterious experience in their life, not defined by logic, that is often said in a hushed tone of not wanting to be judged for talking about their experience out loud. Naming our energetic parts as real is not a way to get rid of the mystery, but to add some validity and clarity to the complexity of being in a human on earth in this space and time. Our brain and it’s function of deduction and understanding is only one aspect of ourselves.

Dr. Joe Dispenza

More than one person in my life has mentioned the name of Joe Dispenza. I kept him in the back of my brain as someone to learn more about. Out of curiosity, I decided to read his most recent book Becoming Supernatural.

And you know what I loved? He explained quantum physics in a way that my brain understood.

Side Note: For all of you science people, my husband has pointed out that while his descriptions make sense, Dispenza is explaining theories more as facts, so take that into account. Yet at the same time he has a beautiful way of taking science-speak and putting it into terms most of us can understand.

The exciting part of acknowledging ourselves as both “a particle and a wave” or both matter and energy, is that it gives us more than one way to heal in our lives and shift our lives into what we want them to be.

Joe Dispenza has had incredible success in helping people overcome serious health issues in their lives with his approach.

Counselling & Energy Healing

I have loved combining both talk therapy and energy healing. Sometimes we need to understand ourselves and our patterns in lives so that we can make conscious changes. Other times, we benefit from having a hand with this by balancing, clearing, and recharging our energy field. Energy healing offers support, clarity, and energizes and solidifies the intentions you have in your life. I find that everyone thrives with a different combination, and that this combination changes over time and situation. I have seen people make and maintain big and small shifts in their lives with this combination.

Guided Meditation

Recently, I have been enjoying Joe Dispenza’s Morning Meditation and his Chakra Blessing Meditation. He has quite a variety of meditations to choose from on YouTube. If he’s not your style, I encourage you to try out other meditations that have an uplifting and/or supportive quality. If you haven’t meditated, or haven’t meditated in a while, guided meditation is nice way to ease into regular meditation.

Avoiding The Spiritual Bypass

Bringing energy healing into therapy offers a person an element of grace on their journey that is beyond their contributions of effort or will. There are always stories of people who have spiritual epiphanies without seemingly having to make any changes in their lives. At this point in time, I have not experienced that to be the norm. More often than not I see the effort to “bright-side” or always be positive and never acknowledge anger or shame or grief (for fear of bringing more of that into one’s life), as spiritual bypassing. Spiritual bypassing is a mask that covers the pain and true feelings that lie underneath.

I see Joe Dispenza’s work as matching very well with the psychotherapy model of Internal Family Systems. Joe Dispenza helps people, “raise their vibration” to joy, love, and higher frequencies”. Internal Family Systems helps people connect to “Self” – the part of ourselves that acts more as a witness to our thoughts and opens space to consider a different story behind our old patterns and then hold space for the wounds and the heavier emotions we feel, so that they can finally move and clear.

In my work using Internal Family Systems therapy, I have seen people heal old patterns.

Either way, both methods require time and commitment to strengthening these parts of ourselves that can be in a “higher vibration” so that a person than can also hold space for all the shadow parts, old patterns and emotions connected to old wounds. Too often in the spiritual world, I have witnessed a fear of acknowledging anger, pain and shame. These are not emotions to be feared – they are often quite valuable and have served a purpose. AND these parts of yourselves are not the full picture of who you are and what you bring.

Also both methods hold an element of grace around timing. There is no sweet spot or amount of time or energy that guarantees a specific result. However, the energy put into shifting old patterns will not be for nothing – they will help you interact with life with more vitality and less heaviness.

Whew!

Alright, that was a lot. If you’ve done any of Joe Dispenza’s work, I’d love to hear about it. And if you’re a physics nerd or have a physics crush like I do..I see you 🙂

A Message Of Hope

June 14, 2022 by Juanita Lepage Leave a Comment

I don’t know about you, but every once in awhile I dip into the news or reflect on the turbulent weather we’ve had, and I start to worry. There’s always a part of me that wants to have a pulse on what’s happening in the world, and then a part that feels depressed and overwhelmed and considers a glass of wine and some deep sighs.

At the same time, I’ve been reading and watching things and having conversations that remind me to notice the positive shifts happening in our world. If you follow someone (on social media) that inspires you or you’ve read or watch something that’s inspiring, please share!

#PrideMonth

We’ve got a long way to go and at the same time we’ve come so far! It’s been so exciting to see more movies and shows that are more inclusive. I’m still waiting for a queer version of Love is Blind – it’s overdue!

One of the sweetest shows I’ve watched is Heartstopper on Netflix. Thanks to one of my sisters for recommending it. The show follows two teenagers – Nick and Charlie – and their romance. It’s very much a heart-opener.

On the Insta, I will read anything by Roxane Gay. She is an incredible writer – both her books and her articles bring depth, clarity, and insight to a variety of topics. If you haven’t read her perspective on the Will Smith/Chris Rock debacle – it’s a must read. Why Jada Pinkett Smith Shouldn’t Have To ‘Take A Joke’ (and neither should you)

A Shift In Perspective

If you’re looking for ways to hold space for a different perspective beyond doom for our world or for changing any sticky patterns in your life, here are few people who are committed to helping people do just that. These three women inspire me in my job and in life.

Martha Beck: She recently wrote the book The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self. She offers a multitude of exercises to process what is happening in the world or yourself, and ways to shift them. She demonstrates how making shifts in yourself really does help makes shifts in the world. I love how she shows that this is a process – we don’t need to demand big changes in ourselves overnight – it’s about starting (or continuing) the process.
Sharon McMahon – she’s an American having conversations with both democrats and republicans about big issues in the USA. Whenever I find someone who has managed to connect with both sides, I lean in and get curious. She has a podcast and she has a lot of great material on Instagram. I love how she encourages people to reach out and thank or praise people in public office who are doing good things.
Byron Katie: Multiple people refer to her as an enlightened being on this earth. She is a master of helping people change their stuck perspectives. You can find her at The Work.

Conversations

Another thing that I’ve noticed over the past few months are the more inclusive conversations. Parents asking their kids, “what do you want to wear” for grad? versus assuming it’ll be a dress or a suit. Men apologizing after they notice their comments or actions were sexist. People stepping up and taking action to make their neighbourhoods or work-places a more inclusive space. People stepping up for the environment in their communities and life.

I think it’s really important to notice these things in our lives and continue to take action both in shifting our own perspectives and speaking up in our family and community. All of these things matter, and none of our actions or words are too small to start making a difference.

Summer

It’s summer-time here, so over the next few months I might be sending out a post, or I might not. I’m going to leave it to the fates that be lol. Whatever season it is where you are, I hope you have some down-time over the next few months and that you find music, food, people, and situations that are nourishing and inspiring to your spirit.

I promise, I’ll be back in September – and as always, thanks for reading! And I always love reading anything you want to share.

Psychics & Life After Life

June 1, 2022 by Juanita Lepage Leave a Comment

One of the fun parts of being an energy healer and psychotherapist, is that I often get to talk to people about experiences beyond the 5 senses. My experience as an energy healer often shows to people that I’m open to a world beyond what is logical, mind-centred, or limited to what we can see right in front of us.

Almost everyone has had an experience in their life that defies current logic, but it’s not always safe to share that information. I love it when people share about their experiences with spiritual guides, visits to psychics, using tarot cards or situations they’ve been in that defy logic. I’ve certainly had many of those types of experiences too.

I remember seeing the late Sylvia Browne, a popular psychic, in Vancouver years ago. She said she had close to an 80% accuracy rate. She answered questions from the audience and it was fun to be in a space with so many other people who were curious about this world too.

Recently on Netflix (I feel like I’m always using this phrase lol), I enjoyed watching the Medium Tyler Henry connect to loved ones who have died. His accuracy is incredible. He is so light-hearted and kind with every person he meets. He also shares his struggles with being a Medium for himself or family members he’s close to. If you’ve lost a loved you (including pets) that you were close to or didn’t get closure with, I highly recommend this series.

On the heels of that show, I was introduced to a book by medical doctor Raymond Moody Jr. called Life after Life.

Raymond has collected hundreds of stories of near death experiences. He shares many of them in this book with all the commonalities. While of course life after death isn’t something that can be scientifically proven, he acknowledges that he’s been convinced by the number of stories that have been shared with him. For anyone nervous about death, this is a wonderful highly recommended read. I certainly felt a lot of peace after reading this book.

Have you been to a psychic? How did that experience go for you?

Reflections On Mercy

February 1, 2022 by Juanita Lepage Leave a Comment

I’d be lying if I said I gave much thought to the concept of Mercy. This Christmas I was given the beautiful book – Hallelujah Anyway: Rediscovering Mercy by Anne Lamott.

Maybe you’re well acquainted with mercy, but in case you aren’t, mercy can be seen as offering forgiveness and unconditional love when our brain lists the many valid reasons not to.

Anne Lamott reflects on mercy with wit, honesty and humour. She’s a beautifully irreverent Christian who gives examples in her own life where she’s struggled to offer mercy. She also shares parts of the Bible that speak to mercy. Note: She is LGTBQI++ friendly Christian, hooray!

Here are a few reflections on the concept of mercy.

Mercy Cannot Be Forced

Forgiveness to someone who has hurt you or forgiveness to yourself is not something you can force yourself to do using will power. It’s a moment of grace where you make a shift and you might not even be sure why. It’s imagining that you are opening the internal doors of yourself to even a little bit of light.

Mercy To One Self Is Just As Important As Mercy Given To Others

Many people are excellent at giving mercy to others, but can’t extend that same gift to themselves. This is something I’ve certainly struggled with: holding on to those times that I did something kind of mean or in ignorance and at the same time easily forgiving someone else who would’ve done the same thing.

A great question to ask yourself is: Who do I forgive most easily in my life – myself, others or no one?

What is your first reaction to the thought of extending mercy to yourself or others?

I remember reading how the spiritual leader Ram Dass always put a picture on his altar of the individuals he was struggling to extend mercy towards. Who would be on your altar?

Mercy Is Not The Same As Not Setting Boundaries

Giving mercy is not martyrdom. If you’re giving mercy to everyone else and not yourself, that’s a big imbalance. If you have someone in your life who doesn’t take any accountability for their actions, it’s important to set a boundary. This can be a courageous place to show mercy to yourself for your struggle to set a boundary. It’s never too late to treat yourself with the same kindness and mercy you extend to others.

Starting With Intention

I haven’t forgiven all those that have wronged me. I’d love to blame the other and hold onto self-righteousness sometimes. Like Anne Lamott, some circumstances are either too fresh or I just don’t want to.

Anne would suggest using prayer. Ram Dass would suggest putting a photo of that person/those people on your altar. Another way is to start by asking:

Who am I struggling with right now? How can I open myself (even a little bit) to extend mercy here?

“What would it be like to forgive myself/other person? What might it’s impact be on my life?

Or: “I’d like to forgive __, maybe not today, but sooner, rather than later. I don’t know how that’s going to be possible, but I’m going to put it out there.”

All of these options open your world to the possibility of grace happening to allow mercy into your life. It’s the arrival of true compassion where none existed before.

“I’m not sure I even recognize the ever-presence of mercy anymore, the divine and the human: the messy, crippled, transforming, heartbreaking, lovely, devastating presence of mercy. But I have come to believe that I am starving to death for it, and my world is, too.” – Anne Lamott

I Don’t Know, I Don’t Know, I Don’t Know

January 4, 2022 by Juanita Lepage Leave a Comment

One thing that really stuck with me from my time at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing was when one week we had the theme, “I don’t know”. We spent time leaning into how much we truly don’t “know” about life and this world and all of it’s mysteries.

As a therapist and energy healer, there is this weird conundrum of knowing and not knowing when I’m with a client. I know generally what I can do to help a person, but I have to leave a lot of space open to the unknown too. Sometimes changes can happen rapidly for a person and with great ease. Other times healing takes time and this can be incredibly frustrating. Sometimes there are tools to help with managing some things, yet most of the time it’s most beneficial to give space to feel the discomfort of being in the unknown and then clarity arises and shifts happen.

One of the big things that living with COVID and the changing rules is that there is an incredible amount of unknown. In the span of 4 days as a parent I shifted from, “my kids are going to school in person” to “my kids are going to school online”. I felt incredibly frustrated with the change. I wish I felt like Lisa Kudrow (below) about this, but I didn’t.

The Tool Three Things (AKA being in the present moment)

One practical tool that helps me, is consciously shifting to the here and now. I was lying beside my son in his bed as we chatted about the upcoming announcement from the government and I could feel all my anxiety. Being that close to bed time I knew I didn’t want to sit with it so I started naming out loud where I was and what I saw around me.

So many spiritual leaders talk about the present moment being the only one that we have and to embrace it. In some therapeutic approaches, this technique is called “Three Things” – you take time to name 3 things you see, hear, and feel on your body and then 2 things and then 1 thing in each category. I find it interesting to note that while I am shifting to “the present moment”, I question if that’s really true. I think perhaps I am shifting from having one part of myself dominate my reality to other parts that are more peaceful. Often in the spiritual world we forget that the anxious part of ourselves is real too and needs attention at some point or it will let itself be known quite loudly.

Sitting With Discomfort (AKA – sitting with “I don’t know”)

At a different time of day, I might have intentionally sat with anxiety and saw it as one part of myself and not all of myself. I can notice what it feels like in my body and what other emotions arise. Often, being present with it in a conscious and safe way helps it release. Often with anxiety, one of the most helpful ways to reduce its intensity is to become more comfortable sitting with the discomfort that arises in a safe way. In other words, it’s becoming more comfortable with “I don’t know” and the emotions that arise from this notion and leaning into it.

If you’re a person who enjoys adventure, it can be like travelling to a new place knowing you have some resources at your finger tips to provide some safety and at the same time being with the variety of unknown factors such as language, culture, or moving around a new city. Every traveller I know has a story of plans that didn’t go as planned.

When I was growing up, my parents enjoyed travelling to a destination with a general plan, but nothing booked. Most of the time we found a place to sleep and sometimes we slept in the car or on the side of the road. I felt comfortable with the unknown because I felt safe with them there. The “I don’t know” was sometimes uncomfortable and stressful and at other times provided us with new experiences we never would’ve imagined.

What ways have you found helpful to sit with “I don’t know”? Do you find that some places it easier to embrace in some areas of your life than others?

Intentional Gratitude: Helpful Or Over-Rated?

October 12, 2021 by Juanita Lepage Leave a Comment

I’ve had a touch and go relationship with gratitude over the years. Growing up in a Christian community, we practised gratitude mostly through prayer and giving to those who needed money or connection. As I’ve shifted to becoming less religious and more spiritual, the messages I get are often about the importance of having an energetic vibration akin to joy and peace.

I love how gratitude can translate to noticing the bright moments even on those days that seem challenging. I love how gratitude can translate to generosity of spirit.

My struggle with gratitude is when it’s used as a mask or method to deny or minimize pain. I often hear from people, “My life is good – I have so many great things going on in my life – (insert: money, home, health, family etc) and I still feel horrible”.

If you’re a person who minimizes your pain, my challenge today is for you to really look at why having food, clothing, home etc means that you shouldn’t feel pain.

So often gratitude is used to minimize the pain of ourselves or others – “at least you’ve got (insert blank)”, “everything happens for a reason” or “others have it worse than I do, so I shouldn’t complain”.

When you minimize your pain, notice what happens in your body. For me, I can physically start to feel tense inside the core of my body. Scan your body and notice where you hold your tension or pain. Emotionally I can shift to numbness (chakras closing) and sometimes I will disconnect from my body all together. You may notice similar things or you may notice your emotions such as anxiety & anger intensify.

What if you acknowledged both your privilege and your pain?

“I’m really hurting right now”. “I feel incredibly sad and overwhelmed”. “What I’m going through is challenging in so many ways – it makes a lot of sense that I feel what I’m feeling”.

We often find it easier to do this when we have an obvious trauma that happens, for example the loss of family member or dear friend. We’d never say – “Sorry about the loss of your parent, but at least you have a nice house”.

This can be more challenging when it’s difficult to put your finger on exactly what is bothering you right now. Maybe it’s stress, maybe it’s overwhelm and you’re judging yourself because other people don’t seem to be overwhelmed by the same things you are. Many times it’s a subconscious pattern of disregarding our own needs or even acknowledging our own needs leaving us with a feeling of anxiety or anger. Sometimes emotional pain exhibits as physical/somatic pain in your body.

If you don’t know why you’re feeling what you’re feeling, I encourage you to try and simply it acknowledge it without rationalizing it. “I’m feeling like crap today, and I don’t know why”. Imagine giving this place a little room to breathe for 5 minutes or more.

My experience with myself and in helping others, is that allowing space for pain allows it to expand and then release. Allowing pain doesn’t have to deny the capacity for gratitude.

Sometimes there are fears that arise around feeling pain – “What if it overwhelms me? What if it takes over and I never feel joy?” With psychotherapy we can explore what your fears are about feeling your pain and take a path that allows you to experience your pain at a pace that’s respectful to you. Energy healing too can help a person ground and reconnect with one’s body and emotions.

So What About Gratitude?

Gratitude has its place in all of this, and my encouragement is to see if you can BOTH acknowledge those areas of gratitude and also those areas of pain and shift away from an either/or attitude.

I’ve found that starting my day with 3 things I’m grateful for can be a beautiful way to shift my energy to be more connected with the present. Or even the intention of doing one thing that I enjoy today and being specific about it – play a game on my phone, go for a walk, eat something delicious, read a chapter of good book. Genuine gratitude feels really good. It has also helped me look beyond myself and give to others – whether that be a family member or friend or a charity.

I’ve found that seeing a therapist has been a great way for me to acknowledge my pain. I grew up learning to be at adept at disregarding my own needs and it took me a good while to really acknowledge and be present with my own pain. As I practice intentionally allowing my pain & struggles, I’ve found more peace and connection with myself & others. When I allow my pain, it often passes a lot more quickly than I had anticipated.

What are your rituals to feel your gratitude, and how do you give yourself space to feel your pain?