Martha Beck: Beyond Anxiety – Connecting To Our Intuition Series #1

Last December, I got a notice that Martha Beck and Elizabeth Gilbert were coming to Toronto. As a fan of both of them, I signed up immediately. J, if you who know these women are – you KNOW that these women are bright lights in this world. For those of you who are new to them, I’ll give you a brief introduction.  Martha Beck is Harvard sociologist who rose to fame when she became Oprah’s life coach for her show & magazine. Martha is quirky & wise and the smartest person in the room.  Elizabeth Gilbert is a best-selling author, most famously for Eat, Pray, Love. She is warm-hearted, wise and playful. Both have a marvellous sense of humour and a willingness to explore deep places, so when you put them together – Magic Happens.

Today begins my series on connecting to our intuition. Over the past year, I intentionally explored a variety of courses, books & podcasts about the topic of intuition.  For over 20 years I’ve been interested in this topic and dabbled with all sorts of things. 

Over the next few months I will be sharing a variety of ways to connect to your intuition. I will be sharing wisdom from Martha Beck, Elizabeth Gilbert, Julia Cameron & Byron Katie. If you’re familiar with the Gene Keys, be sure to keep an eye out for my post on the Dream Arc program – connecting to animals & nature as a way to connect to our intuition. If you’re a fan of muscle testing, tarot cards or pendulums – I’m going to talk about that too.  There are so many ways to connect to our intuition.

Intuition & Our Nervous System

Psychotherapy is a method that uses the language of the nervous system & a variety of therapies with different words for that place where we connect to our intuition. Internal Family Systems (IFS) calls it Self. Polyvagal Theory calls it Safety, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) calls it Wise Mind. Outside of the context of psychotherapy, you might call it Witness, Intuition, Inner Wisdom or Spirit Guides. What do you call this place?

Sometimes our intuitions are loud and will be heard beyond the noise of our minds and life. But for many decisions and situations it isn’t loud and we can wonder, “What does my intuition say about this situation?”

In order to access intuition, we first have to find the path to connecting to Safety in our nervous system. This is a state where we are not in fight, flight, or freeze. I should probably do a post on the nervous system (internal note made!).

All of these methods I’m going to share with you over the next few months start with finding a way to connect to Safety within the nervous system.  When we are in fight/flight/freeze, those parts of ourselves become the loudest parts in the room so to speak. When we learn to settle those parts (not delete them although we can dream about that), we can connect to our intuition. Martha Beck calls this process finding our Green light zone.

Martha Beck

In the Spring I decided to sign up for the online course Beyond Anxiety hosted by Martha Beck. One thing I love about Martha Beck is that she has the ability to put psychological concepts into user-friendly language & concepts. I was also curious to see whether her methods matched current practices in psychotherapy – and yes they did and more. And like anyone living on this earth right now, I do have an anxious part and I’m always happy to have more methods to soften my anxiety.

My instinct to plan and have order in my life is one attempt to manage my worries & anxieties. Meditation is challenging for me and the thought of a 10 day silent retreat sounds mostly horrible to me. A long airplane flight is a dream for me – many hours to watch tv or read while being fed by someone else. In regular life I am pretty good at taking time to relax, but a full movie without getting up to do some random task is tougher.

We all have different flavours of anxiety and where they show up in our lives. Some things that make me anxious won’t make you anxious and vice versa.  If you have an anxiety disorder, your anxious part is LOUD. But remember, it’s not your only part (although that part may disagree with that assessment).

Martha uses the language of the compass and following our north star. She re-frames polyvagal/nervous system theory into Green light, Yellow Light & Red light states of being.  Her practices are also a match with Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy. But like many coaches & therapists, these are practices she was doing before IFS became popular. So if you know the language of IFS – you’ll resonate with her methods. If you don’t know the language of IFS – you don’t need to.

Martha’s Methods for Connecting to Your Intuition

After doing both the Beyond Anxiety course and attending her recent workshop, I’m giving you four things from her work that stood out for me on the topic of connecting to your intuition.

We’ve all been in that place where we’d love to get to a state of relaxation to connect to our intuition and we JUST CAN’T.  I’m starting the series with Martha because she gives some great tools to get to that state.  We’d all love to “let it go”, but it’s not a light-switch experience. Shifting into the Green Light Zone takes practice.

1. 3 Things
   • The method of 3 Things is a familiar one to me. I’ve seen it in other therapies, but I found Martha’s approach to be the best variation.
   • Close your eyes
   • Think of 3 Things you love to smell. Imagine them around you.
   • Think of 3 Things you love to taste. Imagine them here too.
   • Think of 3 Things you love to touch. Add these to the mix.
   • Think of 3 Sounds you love to hear. You know the drill.
   • Think of 3 Things you love to look at. Add these to the mix.
   • Now imagine all of these things together all at once (as best you can)
   • Notice how you feel – take as much time as you can to immerse yourself in this visualization.
2. The Kind Detective exercise (my interpretation of this exercise)
   
   • We have multiple parts that have multiple opinions about decisions we need to make
   • You will probably notice a variation of one part that wants to set everything on fire/do whatever you feel like and then another part that shuts that down.
   • Imagine each part standing on one of your hands.
   • Instead of trying to mediate between these parts or telling them to “let them go”,  meet it with the kindness of “You can stay”.
   • Ask both parts to take a step back and notice what is underneath these parts that wants to be seen or heard – don’t think about this too hard, go with your instinct
   • Be present with the part underneath and ask it if it wants anything from you
3. Kind Internal Self-Talk (KIST)
   
   • Noticing when your anxious, angry, sad or other parts start chirping at you and then meeting that part with kind words
   • “You’re really anxious, I see you and I’m here” “It’s going to be okay” – what are words you would say to a child feeling what you’re feeling?
4. Loving Kindness
   • Martha shared some incredible stories about the impact of bringing some loving kindness to challenging meetings & situations. This is not about feeling loving kindness in a deep way. Just see if you can even find a thread of yourself that wishes this person peace or wellness beyond the current circumstances.
   • When you’re in a meeting/on a call with a tough person, before you speak think the words, “May you be loved, at peace, be well, be safe and be at ease (or whichever words you choose).  Martha intentionally thought the phrase, “I like you and you like me” before she answered every question during a 7 hour deposition with profound results.

After you find yourself in a more relaxed state, this is a good time to connect to your intuition and ask the questions you want to ask.  Get a piece of paper or do a voice-memo to yourself and ask the question and answer it without thinking about it – the first thing that comes to you is the answer.

One question to get you started:

What does my intuition want me to know about <insert situation> right now?

I invite you to choose one of Martha’s tools in her toolbox and even better if you do this every day for 7 days to get a feel for it. Anchor it into your routine – often at the start, middle or end of your day is best (really anytime you can take a few minutes and have the energy to do so). Which one did you choose? Are there any you currently practice in your life? How do you connect to your intuition?

p.s. Bonus Martha Resources

1. Tim Ferriss interview:  The Amazing and Brutal Results of Zero Lies for 365 Days, How to Do a Beginner “Integrity Cleanse,” Lessons from Lion Trackers, and Novel Tactics for Reducing Anxiety (#732)
2. Martha’s new book coming out in January 2025: Beyond Anxiety
   
3. Martha & her partner Rowan’s podcast: Bewildered