For many years I’ve reflected on the roles of masculine & feminine energy in ourselves and the world around us. Whenever I meet someone who is strongly in their feminine energy, I feel a bit of awe. How’d you do that? Over time I’ve found ways to connect to my own feminine energy, but it’s much more subtle and the process is slow.

The masculine energy in our world is still greatly admired and rewarded. Masculine traits fall under a very grounded and centred lens with a focus on reason and will. Intelligence, courage, strength, leadership, and assertiveness are a few traits that fall under this lens.

The feminine aspects are more centred in flow and in the realms of the heart. Some qualities include emotional intelligence, compassion, empathy, passion, and creativity.

I wrote more on this topic a few years ago – How Valuing Both Femininity & Masculinity Can Heal Ourselves and The World.

Psychotherapy

I sometimes reflect on the impact of patriarchal culture on psychotherapy. Sometimes it’s felt like an attempt at containing feminine energy. The attempt of bringing order and structure and formulas for healing.  Other times I appreciate the attempt to bring some structure to healing.

At the same time I will always remember that during my Masters program in Social Work, that research had shown that the biggest impact on healing was the quality of the relationship between the therapist & the client. At the time I felt disappointment as I was hoping for a nice clear formula. Over time I’ve greatly appreciated this perspective that healing is more than just a formula.

When I worked with teens with mental health issues, we used a lot of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT).  Yet at the same time, teens did best when we built relationship with them. We did this by going outside, playing games, doing relaxation exercises and having conversations.  We noticed that we learned the most about teens when they played a game with us.

I noticed the frustration with colleagues who were doing research for different therapy modalities in that they could only include individuals who had the “cleanest” symptoms that matched the DSM diagnoses for anxiety or depression. These “ideal” clients were few and far between, yet the impact of this research would be used broadly.  People are complex and often don’t fit into boxes.

The feminine is wild & it can be messy. How do we make space for these parts in therapeutic modalities? How do we befriend them and create space for them?

I have loved shifting my work from DBT & CBT to Internal Family Systems (IFS) & Polyvagal work.  I’ve found that IFS allows so much more room for the feminine.

Energy Healing

Energy healing has been a bridge for me to bring more of the feminine back into my psychotherapy practice. It allows me to help clients shift from being purely in their minds and back into their bodies & spirit. Energy healing has been a place to help people re-connect with their inner-wisdom, truths, & blind spots.

The psycho-therapeutic act of using the mind & will-power to change things in our lives is a very masculine approach. It can be very helpful AND it has its limitations.

I love seeing more psychotherapy approaches bringing in the feminine through yoga, art, nature, and spirituality.

How do you bring the feminine into your psychotherapy practice? What are the modalities that allow the most space for the feminine?

I’d love to hear your perceptions and experiences of psychotherapy when it comes to the masculine & feminine energies.